How will they know, if no one teaches them?

This question has been on my mind a lot lately. Each of us have within us a set of skills and a knowledge base that we regularly take for granted. But where did those skills and that knowledge come from? Didn’t someone teach you? Think about it, if no one had ever taught you how to change a light bulb, you wouldn’t just naturally know how. You might be able to figure it out on your own, but you wouldn’t realize that the light would be hot while it was on unless you first touch it. We learn from people around us, we learn from reading and we learn from our experiences. But if you had never had those people to teach you, and if you hadn’t had those life experiences, what skills and knowledge would you be deprived of? It’s sobering to realize that what I might consider common sense, isn’t so common after all.

This post is about our residents and the joys of getting to instruct them in life skills, but really it’s a letter of appreciation to my parents, for I realize daily that they equipped me with so many valuable life lessons which other young people are deprived of. Last week the girls and myself were working on some little sewing projects – I’ve been teaching them some of the basics of sewing. I asked one young lady to iron a piece of fabric for me and as she brought the pressed piece to me, we noticed smoke coming from the board. She had left the iron face down on the board! My initial thought was, “How could she be so careless?! How could anyone not know that an iron should NEVER be left facing down!” Thankfully I was able to somewhat recover from my shock and attempt to give her a lesson on iron safety. “How could she know, if no one has taught her?”–I realized. The next day I did an “ironing lesson” with all of the girls and taught them how to properly iron a shirt and of course emphasized iron safety. 

Recently, I asked one of our girls to slice an onion for me. She willingly got a knife, a cutting board and an onion. She then proceeded to slice the onion without peeling away the outer layer or cutting off the ends. I asked another young lady to measure a pillow for a case we were making. She got the tape measure and the pillow, but couldn’t get much further than that without assistance. They knew the tools to use, but weren’t sure how to proceed. “How could they know, if no one has taught them?” 

Please don’t think poorly of our girls. Some of them do struggle academically and a few of them are working to complete their GED’s, but even in that, much of the reason for their lack of academic knowledge is due to poor circumstances and due to the lack of value placed on education during their upbringing. As for these other misunderstandings that I am talking about, they are from lack of experience and instruction. “How could they know, if no one has taught them?” 

I have found myself pausing and teaching life lessons daily to these girls, planned and unplanned. How to wash dishes, how to set a table,  how to pass food around the table, how to drive, how to stop and consider consequences before making a poor decision, how to clean up after yourself, how to apologize, how to challenge yourself, how to try new things...the list goes on. All of these seemingly common knowledge, and yet, really these were taught to us.

I’ve recently been reading a book called The Threshing, A Weapon Forged By Fire. It was given to me by the author, Marsha Winters. In her book, Marsha tells her story of coming to this country from Jamaica as a small girl. She faced verbal, physical, emotional and sexual abuse from family members and peers and grew up surrounded by darkness and pain. At age six, some neighbors started taking Marsha to church. She continued to go to church faithfully despite the harshness of her life throughout the week. I was amused by her reports of the first time she went to church. She had never seen such love and kindness, and church continued to be the only consistent place she found it. She mused at the way her neighbors disciplined their child in love, rather than beating her out of their anger and frustration. At that point in the story, I had to stop. I’ve never known anything different than discipline with love. I’ve never questioned my parents love for me. I’ve never known a world where the joy and love and peace that comes only from the Father, cannot be found. Yet, as I read the story, and mused upon the earlier question, I realized, “How can they know the love of the Lord, if no one has told them or shown them?” So many of the residents that we work with have never gone to church, never sat around a table for a decent meal preceded by prayer, and never been shown the Love of the Lord. Kyle and I are doing life the way we know how to do it. A way that involves waiting on each other to sit down and have a meal together, a way that involves helping one another out and caring for each other, a way that involves asking questions and listening, a way that involves praying. But the way we live, the environment we have created in our little mismatch home is foreign to these young people, yet, somehow they quickly adapt and grow comfortable in it. It becomes a source of peace for them, whether they realize it or not, they are experiencing the peace and love of a God who knows their past and their brokeness and still longs for their hearts. We may not remind them often enough with our words of the God that brought us here, but, by His grace, it is the way that we live that speaks louder anyways. 

I am thankful every day that I married a man with the heart of a teacher and a passion for instructing. He challenges me and encourages me to be a better teacher for our girls. There is such joy in bringing knowledge to people, no matter the age.

Be patient with those who don’t know the things you think they ought to know. Maybe no one has ever taught them. Maybe we should spend more time teaching and less time telling.

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that is did not know him...This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers...Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth." ~ 1 John 3:1,16,18 (NIV)

"Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone." ~ Colossians 4:5-6 (NLT)

an overwhelming task

Where do I begin. So much has taken place in our little world in the last month that it is difficult to know where to start and how much to share.  We had a crazy whirlwind week for all of our transitional housing programs in a few intense days of moving people, furnishing homes, and preparing houses for residents to move in. We were informed with less than a week's notice that we would be moving into our home and getting our four female residents the following week. If that weren't hectic enough, I was also helping with the furnishing process for two other new homes besides our own...and the girls were coming– soon! With amazing help and against Satan's attempts to discourage success, we were able to prepare our home and welcome the first of our residents on Thursday, March 13th. 

Initially our girls came to us in frustration and confusion. They were sent to our program thinking it was just another shelter and without being informed that this was a "program" with expectations of work and working towards goals. The first few days were a little rough, as they felt like they had just been incarcerated rather than having just been selected for the chance to better their lives through this unique program. To our benefit, very little of their anger and frustration was directed towards us, just towards the program and the circumstances which had brought them here. We patiently allowed them time to process the transition and worked to make them feel at home and to help them see the benefits of the program. It didn't take long for them to recognize that they were in a safe place, where people love them and want to help them succeed. 

Now, over a month later, our girls (ages 18 to 23), call us their family, and refer to the house they live in as their home. Just the other day, one of the young ladies introduced me as a "second mama" — yikes, that’s a big title! One of the girls said that this feels more like family than their real family.

Each of our four young ladies has a unique story of how she came to be here, and each is being stretched and challenged in unique ways. Kyle and I are being stretched and challenged in unexpected ways.  Every day is filled with opportunities to encourage and help these young people look at the world through different eyes. Every night Kyle and I go to bed exhausted, but the joyful and thankful kind of exhaustion you get from a full day. One of these days I may have time to finish unpacking our room, but right now that is not what matters most.  Please be prayerful for us, our girls and all of the work that is being done here. Most days, I have no idea what I am supposed to say or do to be the best encourager I can be for these ladies. This work is too big for us alone, and I need to remember that we are not alone, simply ambassadors of LOVE and HOPE from the Creator who led us here. And He is indeed working here! With the Easter week celebrations we have had multiple conversations and opportunities to talk about God’s love for us and the reason He sent His Son. What an awesome and sometimes overwhelming task to share the story of Christ with these young women who know very little if anything about their Father and His love for them. They are listening and soaking it all up. They are watching, learning, reading and asking. We are amazed and completely blessed to be living here with these precious souls. God is alive and at work.

For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again...

...Therefore we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making His plea through us. We plead with you on Christ’s behalf, “Be reconciled to God!”                                          ~2 Corinthians 5 (NIV/NET) 

one month's worth

Our first month here has come and gone. Most of that time has been spent living in a beautifully restored house with Jerry and Fern Hill and five young men who are currently in one of our programs. Just last week the ranch closed on the house in which we will be living. We have moved most of our belongings into the house, but it needs a little work before we actually move ourselves in. 

I was recently offered a position to do some marketing work for the summer day camp that the ranch hosts. It has been great to have a part time job to add more structure to my day and to be doing something constructive with my time. I am still praying about and looking at job possibilities for speech therapy, but my NY state license has not been issued yet.

Kyle has jumped right into his position with a confidence that I admire. Much like working with HUF, this job easily becomes a 24/7 responsibility, but I guess we are already accustomed to that, so it hasn't been too difficult an adjustment on that front. Differing from HUF we are living with young men for whom daily disappointments and confrontations can easily escalate into moments of personal crisis. Each day seems to bring moments of pleasant encounters with the guys and moments of tension. Some days the pleasant moments are more frequent and overshadow the minor tense moments, other days it's the opposite.

We have been so absorbed with our transition and the work with the ranch, that we haven't really gotten a sense for life on Long Island as a whole...we're told the perks really come with the warmer weather. Besides the obvious benefits of living on an island (i.e. beach) to look forward to, we can't go anywhere without passing a little booth set up for selling locally grown seasonal products. We are excited to see the produce that will fill those roadside stands as the weather warms, and the vendors open their shops.

This week has had several of those tense moments I was referencing. With our arrival, there has been some enforcement of program elements and minor changes, some of which have been received well by residents, others, not so well. Some necessary consequences of following the program, resulted in harsh words and strong tones directed towards my husband. His calm, controlled responses contradict the heightened emotions I felt inside while listening to him control the situation. I so admire him for his confidence in moments like that. I tend to second guess myself, him and the program, but that is why he has the position he does, and I do not. There have also been some encouraging moments this week. One young man, who we have been helping with his job applications, complimented Kyle and me, saying that we have been a big help to him as he works to get his life on track. Another young man expressed appreciation, saying that he looks up to us as an example and really respects us. It's comments like these, that remind us why we are here and encourage us to continue. We really do feel very blessed to be here and to be a part of the amazing team of people who are in this ministry. God's hand is evident in the work being done. Please join us in praying daily that His love becomes more evident to the young men and women here.

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; 

my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me."

Psalm 28:7

A visit to the beach on a wintery day

and so begins a new adventure!

A new adventure has begun! On January 29th, after passing through 14 states in one week, and stopping to see friends and family along the way, we arrived on Long Island in the snow covered Riverhead, New York to work with the Timothy Hill Children's Ranch. Due to delays with the bank, our house was not available for us to move into yet, so we were generously provided with a lovely apartment on the south side of the island. Five young men from the ranch were summoned to help us unload the U-haul, and their assistance was an immeasurable. Our cozy little apartment was quickly transformed into a cozy storage facility with stacks of boxes lining the walls. We anticipate being in our new house by the middle of February, so we don’t want to unpack too many things, but a few things can’t be helped. On our first morning, a fresh layer of snow and a gentle snow fall welcomed us to Long Island. We were delighted by the beauty it created and thankful that the snow held off until our arrival. Amused by our welcome, we cleaned the car off and trusted that our CR-V would be able to get out of the driveway. It was, and we enjoyed the scenery of our new environment as we carefully made our way to the ranch. 

In a morning meeting with the director, “Thud”, and social worker, Cheryl, our responsibilities and particularly Kyle’s duties as “transitional housing coordinator” were more clearly defined. Cheryl has taken on much more than her fair share with the expanding programs at the ranch. Much of what Kyle will be doing has been falling on her up until this point, so they have been meeting to clarify responsibilities and for Kyle to be caught up on the residents and how things have been running. Kyle spent the last two evenings observing and leading a 3x/week life skills class which he will become responsible for. I have been taking care of our paperwork , working on this blog post and the video, and visiting with other care takers. By 5:30 it is completely dark outside this time of the year, so our drive home has felt much later than it actually is. Our second evening at our apartment, Kyle set to work on dinner, while I rummaged through boxes searching for necessary items, such as pans, plates, cups, knives and a vegetable peeler. By the end of the evening we had put a few items in the cupboards, had a delicious dinner and found most of what we will need to survive here for the next few weeks, until we move again. 

Today we joined two of the residents and the social work intern to go spend the morning at the DMV. Through a series of almost humorous mishaps, Kyle and I were finally granted NY licenses. Back on the ranch, we were asked if we could stay at one of the houses for a few days starting this weekend while the care takers are away. So, I guess this will be our trial run. Nothing like jumping in with both feet!

We are excited and thankful to be here. Please keep us and the residents in your prayers as we build relationships, as we go through a training course next week and as we learn how best to serve in our new positions here. 

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14

the beginning of something Great

Recently my husband and I made a trip to New York’s Long Island. We went for the purpose of visiting the Timothy Hill Children’s Ranch to interview and to explore the possibility of working with them. We weren’t sure what to expect, which I guess is partially why we were told, “You just need to come up here so that you can get to know us and what we’re about, and we can get to know you!” It was deemed an “exploratory interview” meaning neither party had a clear position in mind, but as talents and interests were exposed, a position might become evident. 

Being adventurous world travelers ourselves, we decided to get ourselves as far as we could by public transportation. The Long Island Railroad goes as far as Ronkokoma (which we could not pronounce correctly until several repetitions by the conductor). At Ronkokoma we boarded another shorter train to go further east to Riverhead. It seemed that the entire train from Manhattan was boarding the Ronkokoma train with us until we realized that most of the passengers were using the parked train as a bridge to get across the tracks to the station. By the time the doors actually closed and we left the station we were among perhaps only 5 other passengers going to Riverhead. At the small Riverhead station we were warmly welcomed by Timothy Hill’s friendly transportation coordinator. A short drive to the ranch and we were greeted by the warmth of Jerry and Fern Hill, founders of the ranch. Each person we met seemed to be filled with a contagious joy that only comes through knowing how to love.

We were blessed to be staying at the Hospitality House during the same time that some of the transitional housing residents were staying there. One young man of about 18 years of age arrived at the ranch the same day as us. He came into the kitchen while we were visiting with Ms. Fern. She welcomed him with the same warmth we were growing accustomed to. His posture spoke of unfamiliarity with the kindness being shown to him. With a sheepish smile, he thanked Mrs. Hill and with unexpected confidence stated, “I’m happy to be here, this is much better than where I came from.” Later we learned that this polite young man had just arrived from the local penitentiary. Throughout our time on the ranch, we observed how this young man grew more comfortable with his surroundings as he started to understand that the people around him were sincere and intentional in their love. Love and trust were evidently expressions he was not accustomed to. His transition was just a tiny glimpse of the change that the young men and women who come to Timothy HIll experience on a much larger scale. 

Christmas lights in NYC

We witnessed a board meeting where each resident was commended or reprimanded on their behavior and allowed to make requests. We visited with individuals and couples who have devoted a season of their lives to loving and mentoring young men and women who are working to get their lives on track. We participated in a family Thanksgiving meal. We witnessed a fist fight between residents and saw their mournful faces when they were reprimanded after the fact. We listened as one young man blatantly lied to the board and we also listened as another young man expressed his heartfelt thanks to the program upon his departure. Tough love was exhibited in the most tangible way I have ever seen it. 

Our final interview with the director of the program revealed a position that suited both our vision and our skills and talents. Much prayer and consideration went with us as we replayed our experience the days and weeks following our time in Riverhead. 

We spent a good 3 days in New York City after our time at Timothy Hill Children’s Ranch. The conversations we had at the ranch played over in our minds. The vision of how we could be used there excited us. The realization that God was evidently working through this experience to lead us was becoming clear. The very real faith in God and the sincere action of loving that we witnessed at the ranch left us inspired and uplifted.

Because of these things and much more, we have officially accepted a position at the ranch and are excited to join the work being done there. We know that great challenges will come with our commitment to loving our residents, but we pray that God will take our willingness and work through our weakness to do GREAT things. 

out of the overflow of the heart

Composed on 12.11.2013 regarding my recent work at a local nursing home.

She’s not exactly a pleasant woman to be around. Most of the day she stays hunched over in her wheelchair, either asleep or scooting herself up and down the hallways. She often dons a red crocheted beret, slightly tilted to one side. Her loosely buttoned blouse is nearly always stained with tobacco and saliva, her long nails carry remnants of yesterday’s meal. She carries her ziplock bag of tobacco in her blouse and tucks a clear plastic spit cup beside her on the cushion of her wheelchair. Sometimes I find her outside, sitting in a spot of sunshine...I wish more residents would go outside for some fresh air and sunshine. Ms. Marlene is not exactly a pleasant woman to be around, but beyond the exterior she has a special gift that she cannot keep to herself and this, more than the previous description, is what sets her apart. You cannot talk to Marlene about anything without her sharing words of faith in Jesus. 
“How are you today, Marlene?” 
“I’m alright. Thank the Lord! Thank the Lord!”
“Did you eat lunch today?”
“Yes. You know Jesus is the bread of life! He is the Good Shepherd!”
“I agree!”
“You’ve always got to tell the truth! Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life!”
“That’s true...I’ll see you later, Ms. Marlene”
“Okay, bye...Uuuhmaaazing grace! How sweet the sound....” she rolls away singing with a tremor in her aging voice.
That is a typical conversation with Marlene. Psychologically, she is not fully intact, but her conversations are an outpouring of the words that have filled her life. I don’t know her story. I don’t know how she lived her life. All I know, is that I want to live my life in such a way, that when my body is failing and my mind has gone, I want my spirit to still emit sweet words of Truth.

“For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” Matthew 12:34

our east texas adventure

At the end of a long dirt driveway I turn onto the county road that leads me through a enchanted corridor of overhanging trees. After a few turns, I emerge from the canopy onto state highway 1000. My drive snakes through pasture lands with grazing cattle on either side. The morning sun is just peeking over the horizon of trees as I make my first turn...a different landscape from the one we left not even two months ago...yet still a beautiful witness to the Creator. The moon is still visible behind me, surrounded by pink-lined clouds and elegantly suspended in the morning sky.  I've learned when and where to switch from the local Christian radio station to NPR, knowing exactly at which part of my drive I will loose and pick up each station. My life has changed. OUR life has changed.

We left Italy to land in the blazing heat of a Texas summer. The expanse of grasshoppers who have inhabited East Texas, welcomed us with hops and frolicking, which I can only assume meant they were delighted for our return. Our first weeks were spent getting settled into the house Kyle grew up in and spending time with family. We unpacked boxes, cleaned out closets, rearranged furniture, to make his old room into our room. We also spent a good bit of time taking care of a few things around the house for his sweet parents who have welcomed us to stay here with open arms. I didn't mind cleaning off the back patio, organizing the cabinets, cleaning out the fridge, and hanging the porch swing, the job that I didn't enjoy so much was battling the wasps and spiders who had made their home on the small front porch. I first tried talking to them to explain that they had chosen a terribly inconvenient place to settle as it was directly in our path to get to and from our cars and the house. They didn't seem to listen, the spider just sat suspended in her web, the wasps kept on with their busy buzzing. A few grasshoppers came by to see what the discussion was about, but they didn't stay long. So I had to resort to drastic measures. First the spider webs came down and the spiders that didn't run away were disposed of...a nasty business when they're bigger spiders. Then there were the dirt dauber nests. They were just high enough that I had to stand directly under them to break them down, meaning dirt was raining down onto my head...perhaps that bench we just moved to the back porch should have remained here until this job was done. With those more or less cleared away, it was time to attack the wasps - of whom I am terrified. I looked at the three nests hanging overhead in the corners. There were several wasps flying about. I thought for a second on my plan of attack, but then suddenly overwhelmed with having already destroyed several creatures and their homes, I decided to save these volatile beasts for my man to fight with. And he did. Days of battle against the stubborn wasps resulted at last, in safe passageway through the front door with only an occasional wasp flying by. Besides dealing with these little pests, our time back in the states, though drastically different from Italy, has been wonderful. Kyle and his dad have taught me a thing or two about cows. I learned to drive a tractor, and even had a lesson in pulling and parking a trailer. It's true, East Texas does have a lot to offer! More importantly, however, we have enjoyed precious time with Kyle's family. We have spent quality time with my parents and several of our family of friends. We had a fabulous road trip to Savannah, Georgia with some dear friends. In the midst of all that, we were were praying and searching for jobs and our faithful God has provided excellent jobs for both of us given our short-term circumstances. Until December, I have a job working at two nursing homes in the area and Kyle will be substitute teaching and driving the school bus for the school he went to. We don't know exactly what we'll do next, but we are excited about what lies ahead.

This is our East Texas adventure.

the train to Bayeux

[composed on March 13, on a train]


This is our third train today and everything is white outside. Initially our plan was to go to the small medieval town of Bayeux where a museum houses one of the world's oldest tapestries, then we were to meet up with a tour that would take us to the beaches of Normandy and the American Cemetery. The day before departure, the tour company wrote to say that they would have to cancel the tour due to weather. Our eager team of adventurers decided to continue with the plan and go see the tapestry, enjoy a snow-covered medieval town and perhaps rent a car to go see the beaches on our own. Eager, but perhaps a little too idealistic. The canceled tour afforded us a few extra hours of much needed sleep. In the hotel lobby we watched news reports of people digging out buried cars from mounds of snow in the Normandy area. We boarded a train at 10:10, ignorant of any poor travel conditions. "Trains aren't too affected by weather, right?" I pondered out loud. Everyone seemed to agree, so on we went. We marveled at the snow floating around inside the Saint Lazare train station in Paris; we smiled as the snow covered city faded into snow-blanketed countryside, and excitement grew with each stop the train made in quaint towns along the way. We arrived in Caen to find that there were no trains going to Bayeux. In fact, all trains were canceled except for the train we just de-boarded which was scheduled to return to Paris in 40 minutes. We considered our options for about 30 seconds and then unanimously agreed to grab a bite to eat then return on the same train. We stepped outside the crowded station to see what eateries Caen had to offer. There was a closed convenience store, a restaurant, and a Kebab place. The decision was easy, we needed something fast so Kebab it was. The six of us made our way across indiscernible streets through at least 4 inches of snow and stood inside the fast food joint, waiting patiently for our turn to order. With 20 minutes until departure we ordered our food and prayed that the fast food would stay true to its name. Kebabs and drinks in hand, we crowded back into the station (throwing a few snowballs along the way and taking a token photo to commemorate our adventure) just in time to see on the monitor which platform the train was leaving from (as if we couldn't have guessed since it was the train we had arrived on). The stagnant crowd quickly moved into action and we made our way back onto the same train, same car and same seats which we had recently left. We were determined that these Kebabs would be the best ever and totally worth the trip, so we devoured them with optimism and plenty of laughs. Shelby entertained us with stories from the day before of the French shoe store that only sold right-footed shoes and her perceived recent onset of epilepsy. The mood was positive despite our failed attempt to travel to Bayeux and we began to make plans for how we would spend the rest of the day in Paris. And then we stopped in the small town of Mezidon. And there we stayed. And waited. After at least 30 minutes of sitting on the train, unsure of what announcements were being made in French, an announcement came on that stimulated sighs of frustration among the other travelers and people began to put on the coats and get off. We decided we should probably follow suit. Once inside the station (once again crowded), we learned from a kind fellow traveler who spoke English that our train had technical difficulties and could not take us to Paris. So we waited calmly with all the other anxious travelers, for further instruction. A roundish Frenchman looking official with his reflective vest came in to inform us calmly that we would soon board another train to return to Caen, that train would depart from Caen to Paris as scheduled at 17:03. Though it meant we would have little time to do anything once back in Paris, we were delighted to hear that we would be getting back to Paris. I was proud of our group of novice travelers for remaining calm and positive throughout the event. We chatted briefly with fellow travelers while we waited to board the new train. Once back in Caen, half our group was sent into the station for food and supplies (coke and chocolate) to get us through our journey. They returned with a bounty of water, nuts, sweets, drinks and reading materials to keep us supplied until our return. While at the station in Caen, men dressed in red rescue worker suits came through the train offering hot tea, coffee and water. The gesture was appreciated, but after seeing the news reports this morning and seeing the seriousness of the present weather conditions, it seems like making sure we have tea and coffee should be the least of their worries. 

So now here we sit. After about 4 hours on this train. It is hot. Eric has voiced concern regarding train temperatures and our up coming overnight train to Zurich, "What if they bake us in that couchette?" Some of our group seems to have lost their senses, but at least it is providing for lots of giggles. It's dark outside, but we can see that the ground and rooftops here have accumulated more snow since we left them this morning. We are nearing Paris. There's still time for exploration and dinner on this, our last night in Paris, maybe even more adventure than we bargain for...but I hope not, we've already had that today. 

Sleepy students taking advantage of our unplanned "day of rest"

independent travel

[Paris, France - March 9-11, 2013]

Kyle and I have the privilege of traveling with four HUF students during their independent travel. We planned to visit Paris, Normandy, Brussels, and Amsterdam. With bags packed, passports in hand and excited for new adventures we boarded our flight and the journey began. Paris greeted us with its chilly winter night charm as we navigated buses, the metro and a maze of underground tunnels. Our hotel was nothing to brag about, and the men standing outside arguing was not comforting, but it was good enough. Tired, thirsty and hungry for a snack we poured into the Asian convenience store across the street at about midnight. Once satisfied we were off to bed to rest up for the next day's explorations. 

Over breakfast each morning, with maps in hand, we plotted out what to do that day. The first day we began with a free walking tour led by Elliott, a cleaver red-head with a thick French accent. He showed us secret places of Paris and explained why French gardens have no grass and the story behind the shape of the Channel No. 5 bottle. We stopped for delicious crepes at a trendy organic restaurant and then set out for the Musee D'Orsay. The amount of works from many masters, particularly from among the impressionists, are almost overwhelming. It's unfair to try to appreciate all of the pieces in a brief two hour visit, but we appreciated what we could until they kicked us out - without even letting us buy postcards! It seems like the bookstore should be the last thing to close rather than the first, but no one asked us. 

That evening we rode the elevator up to the top of the Eiffel Tower for spectacular views just as the city lights were beginning to glow.

View from la Tour Eiffel

Sacré-Cœur Basilica

Our second day we climbed up to the Basilica of the Sacré Coeur (Sacred Heart) and marveled at the wealth of symbolism and beauty the landmark holds. Kyle and I then went to buy our train tickets while the students made their way to discover the treasures of the Louvre. We met up at Notre Dame and ate lunch at a Latino American dive. Kyle's family have been friends with the restaurant's owner for many years. Unfortunately he was not there, but we savored the ethnic dishes and enjoyed a taste of familiarity. 

After our meal we walked back to the nearby Notre Dame to discover its treasures. This year is the Cathedral's 850th birthday. The gothic style exhibited with superb stained glass and terrific gargoyles never ceases to amaze. We attempted to make a brief visit to the Musee Rodin, but despite what the website says, it is closed on Mondays. So, naturally, we sat down for a coffee at a nearby cafe to plot out our next move. 

Monday had been deemed "date night" by my thoughtful husband so the students went their separate ways and we discussed options for the evening. We had seen several river boats with restaurants on them so we decided to try that. We found the port and boarded the dinner cruise at 7:45 pm. The boat was nice, but almost had a floating disco feel to it complete with dance floor and flashing lights. We sat in small arm chairs side by side facing outwards towards a port side glass wall. The window extended up above our heads for maximum viewing. We embarked and enjoyed views of Notre Dame, the river islands, Musee D'Orsay, the Louvre and other fabulous works of French architecture as we ate our Salmon and basmati rice. The boat approached the Eiffle Tower just at the top of the hour so that we had a perfect view of the sparkling tower. At that exact moment, the constant drizzle which had been coming down all evening, turned to snow! Thick, delicate flakes seemed to be streaming down from the sparkling tower overhead. It was one of those magical moments we will not forget. Kyle and I just sat and marveled. We didn't even take any photos, we just enjoyed the moment, and it was perfect. The boat turned away to head back to our starting point and the snow tapered off and turned back into a wintery rain mix. It was as though that moment was just for us. "Thank you, God for choosing to bless us with a magical moment to share!"

Our two days in Paris were lovely and we continue to be optimistic about what adventures lie ahead despite ominous weather reports.

sharing my heart

[01.23.2013.AZ0115.AMS-FLR] As we lifted off the ground for our final flight, the snow covered tarmac turned into fields of white, which blended into the grayish purple haze in the distance, hiding any distinguishable horizon from sight. Above the haze, the orange glow of a winter morning sky was visible. Soon we were in the haze ourselves, with only the soft gray-purple clouds around us briefly. We emerged to hover above an expanse of calm white clouds as far as the eye could see, merging into the waking sky along the horizon. There is something about the final flight of a journey that creates a prime time for reflection. Perhaps it is because I know the concerns of daily life and new transitions will consume my mind as soon as I arrive, or perhaps I’m just too tired to do anything but reflect. Either way, with my husband of one week and 4 days asleep beside me (yes, he actually slept on this flight), I took a moment to pause and just reflect on all that had happened over the past two months and year.

My heart has changed. I am still and will always be a global nomad, but my heart is no longer just my own, but also his. And his heart is mine to cherish. On January 12th, surrounded by precious friends and family, we promised ourselves, our whole beings, our futures, our dreams to one another. The celebration was more beautiful and perfect than I had imagined, and we left our wedding feeling filled and spilling over with joy and love. This is not at all where I imagined I would be a year ago, but it is exactly where I want to be, where I need to be, where I am. We felt an outpouring of God’s love through the many words of blessing and encouragement and congratulations that were given to us. God is good. All the time. I am amazed by His love and the new depth of His love that I get to understand and experience through marriage. 

Traveling is something that Kyle and I are both very experienced in and enjoy very much, but we are used to doing it alone...or at least without the other. On our trip home, one would have been humored (as we were) to watch us gently “correct” or “advise” the other on the “best” way to... go through security, get your bag out of the overhead bin, navigate through the airport, [fill-in-the blank]. We are learning to set our own “old” ways aside and learn new ways together. We are learning to love life together and to share with one another. We know that there is a long journey ahead, likely with many bumps, but we are cherishing this time of establishing a new life together and we are having fun. We plan to stay in Italy with Kyle’s job until the end of June, at which point we will return to the States. We don’t really know much beyond that, but we are prayerful and excited about the many possibilities being considered. Your prayers in this matter are appreciated as well!

To close, I leave you with a precious poem written by Gary Williams, a dear friend who officiated our wedding and read this to us before many witnesses on our wedding day. We believe it was Spirit-inspired.

From Many, One

For Kyle and Elizabeth, by Gary Williams

In the fullness of time – which God saw from the start,

He provided, guided you to each other’s heart.

When you both were content to fly solo in life,

He then gave you a husband and gave you a wife –

Revealing how his unending grace and surprise

Works throughout our lives more than we can realize.

He equips and prepares you for what is to come,

Creating with you now, from your past, a new home.

So many languages, faces, places, meetings!

So many addresses, embraces and greetings!

From many companions, you’ve each chosen one friend

To journey beside you in this life to the end.

Many hearts with yours now on this one day rejoice

To affirm and to witness your beautiful choice!

And you’ll someday discover the love you now know

Is but yet a mere shadow of how it will grow.

One melody, formed in your symphony of love

Because you live in harmony with God above.

So many stories merging, blending into one!

Cherish one another, and now have lots of fun!

learning to expect the unexpected

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around everything that has happened in my life the last four months... really in the last year... or maybe I'm just trying to comprehend my life in general as so many wonderful unexpected adventures keep manifesting. On October 25th, Kyle Thompson asked me to marry him. I said, "yes" and our plans and the wedding have pretty much consumed my thinking since. The adventure of living in Italy and growing in this relationship as doors opened and as Kyle pursued me has been fun and challenging. Kyle has surprised me with unexpected adventures, like our hike in the mountains at Abetone and our scooter ride through Chianti, and we have both enjoyed unexpected encounters (like making connections that have opened up new possibilities and opportunities). 

Life is full of the unexpected, I don't know why I keep trying to figure it out. This time last year I did not imagine that I would be engaged and about to marry a man who is not what I expected for my lifelong partner, but he is just exactly what I need and desire in my life! We are so excited to begin journeying together and making the most of each unexpected adventure as it comes.

Before leaving Italy, Kyle surprised me with yet another, unanticipated adventure – a steam engine train ride to a small medieval town where there was a quaint Christmas market being held (isn't he wonderful and the perfect man for me!). The day started with an early morning drive through a beautiful part of Tuscany to Siena. Our traveling group arrived at the station to find a lovely vintage train pulled by a tremendous steam engine. There was excitement all over the platform as passengers snapped photos and hurried to find their seats. For a moment I felt like I was in one of the opening scenes of the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe where the children are in the train station trying to stay together amidst the crowds as they board their train to evacuate London. All of our party was aboard, except for Kyle who had to drive a distance to park the van. If he hadn't run, he may not have made it, but slightly out of breath and ready to try a new experience, he boarded our car just in time. Most of us had never been on a steam engine train before, and non of us in Italy, so we were giddy with excitement. Just behind our group there was a nice looking young man dressed to match the era and style of the train. The thought of going to a Christmas market and being on a train much like that depicted in the Polar Express easily settled us all into a joyful holiday spirit. Breathtaking scenes of the Tuscan countryside painted with fall colors whizzed passed our window as we caught glimpses of antiquated hamlets and villas nestled on hillsides. The destination was a tiny town not unlike those that we passed. We hiked up the road leading to the town's piazza to find a simple, but festive market. Men with accordions and instruments I'd never seen before meandered through the crowds sharing their hearty tunes. The smell of chestnuts roasting over the fire filled the air. We explored all the tiny town had to offer with their beautiful doors and windows and narrow streets. Shops and restaurants were open with signs and smells to bring you in. A hidden staircase took us down to an old olive oil press where I learned about how olive oil is harvested. We sampled chestnut polenta and locally produced fresh ricotta cheese. After several hours of soaking in the festivities, we made our way back down the hill to meet the remainder of our group. Our train home was full of content explorers, ready for a rest after the day's adventures. 

I am so excited to discover the new experiences and adventures that God has in store for Kyle and I as our lives merge and we sojourn together. Some of the unexpected curves we encounter may be unwelcome, but we are eager and ready to follow God's leading and serve Him whatever mundane and fantastic places that takes us!

After all, He’s famous for great and unexpected acts;
    there’s no end to His surprises.

Job 5:9

the dream called life

[This post was started on 20.10.2012 in Scandicci, Italy.]

I was hanging out my laundry when the thought first hit me. It was the start of a warm fall day. The mid morning sun was peeking over rooftops just enough to give a welcoming warm glow to the trees above me and a few blossoms in the window boxes. As I carefully spread my damp laundry out on the line, a feeling came to me - that surreal feeling of "Is this real life or am I in a dream?" (Hanging out the laundry below window boxes in Italy is the sort of thing you see in movies, not do in real life) - Yet in the midst of my ponder, I smiled. "This is a dream and I'm living it!" God loves to give good gifts to His children. We see this truth in all the beautiful and good things God put in the Garden of Eden (Gen 2:9) and all throughout the stories of the Bible and of course in the best gift of all, His Son. He doesn't just give mediocre gifts, He gives good gifts (Matt. 7:11, James 1:17).  

...give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for men, for He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.                 ~Psalm 107:9

Why then, when He gives so abundantly do we question??? My dream has taken me to places, experiences and relationships with people I may never have expected, but the joy of living out this dream called life, is ABUNDANT. 

For those who don't know, for some time now, I have been in a long distance relationship with Kyle Thompson. In following my heart and going through Providentially opened doors, I find myself serving as a teacher of English and Bible in Florence, Italy while also being as involved as possible with Kyle's work with the Harding University study abroad program in Florence. This is where I often stop in awe and marvel at the path God has placed me on. As if working as a traveling speech therapist wasn't enough!?! 

I am daily blessed by learning to love and be loved by a man whose heart seeks to be used by the Spirit. I am challenged weekly by conversations with individuals who come for an hour a week to sit and talk about the stories and teachings of the Bible, many for the first time. I have the joy of getting to learn a new language and culture! I get to be in a place and with people where explorations and adventures abound. The conveniences that we covet in American life seem so unimportant and I am refreshed by appreciation for the simple joys of enjoying a breath of fresh air while taking time to hang the laundry out to dry. 

Please don't get me wrong, my life is no where near perfect, and there have been and will continue to be many challenges in this journey. But what if it were all just a matter of perspective? What if we approached each day with expectation for the ways that God fulfills His promises and pours out His love in our lives? What if we lived each day as if we were living out the dream we've always wanted, not in dread of what might happen, but with joyful contentment for what He is doing.

redirected

Trying to get my mind off traveling and back into work mode, I was in my brand new car, taking care of a few errands before heading out on the next job adventure. It was the first time I had driven the car by myself. Being a standard transmission, it took a little getting used to, and I was realizing that my driving style would have to change a bit with the added shifting. At a stop light, I looked around the interior of the CR-V. It was HUGE compared to my previous car. “What do I need all this space for?” I thought to myself. It suddenly felt...foreign, big, unfamiliar. I had just returned from spending 3 weeks in Italy growing in a relationship with a wonderful man, but the newness of being in a relationship was still setting in. The reality of my parents no longer living abroad was also just becoming evident to me. “And now, I can’t even process all of this change in the comfort of my familiar little Acura! I don’t have a place, a room, a familiar refuge to go to!” The thought hit me like a wave catching you off guard. And there, between shifting gears, I began wiping away tears. I just needed a moment to process it all, but after allowing myself a few minutes to cry and pray, I was fine.

One might think that I am not unaccustomed to change. There is truth in that, if we’re just talking about locations and jobs. But despite the ever-changing foreground of my life, there has remained a somewhat stable backdrop. That backdrop consists of the things that have remained the same for many years, some of which are a big part of the identity which I have established, and some of that is changing. With this change, all that I might have placed my stability and identity on is stripped away, and all that remains is my true raw identity which belongs to God. It is a sometimes painful renewing process. How easy it is to build up for ourselves an image whether good or bad that is based on things, events and relationships other than the most important and significant event and relationship — our commitment to Christ. 

I am thankful for each of the changes taking place in my life. My relationship with Kyle has been and continues to be a blessing and I am learning and growing in ways I never knew possible. I am excited to see where God will lead us on this journey. My parents being back in the States holds many blessings that I can foresee and am already experiencing. And my new car, I love it! I have had the blessing of using it to help people move large objects, and it has been so nice with all of the moving around that I do.

Ironically, in the midst of these “bigger changes” I have faced more job and location changes than usual. I left Dallas expecting to start a job in Michigan, but arrived in York, PA a week later. After three weeks, I am now moving to a different job in Philly for the next three and half weeks — “Whew, okay God, I’m trying to keep up!” HE has blessed me immensely through this time. I am overwhelmed by the ways that He is faithful. There is unimaginable peace and joy in being a child of God. Though this journey is taking me all over the map in a very literal sense, there is really only one direction that I can go, and that is towards God.

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage." ~Psalm 84:5

the move

Bags are packed. 

Walls are empty.
Hearts are heavy.
The shipment has been sent. 

Tears are starting to well up. 

For the last seven and a half years, my parents have been living and working in Beijing and on Monday, this chapter in our family's history will come to a close. It has not been until recently that I have realized how much my parents being here has impacted me. I am proud to tell people that my parents live in Beijing and I love coming to see them and being a part of their ministry here. I love learning new Chinese words and phrases each time I come. I love getting to know and encourage their fellow workers and people that have become like family in the absence of our own here. I love getting to witness the work that our Father is doing through my parents and through the believers here and in some small way getting to participate. Although I have never lived here, it feels like home...one of my many "homes" on this earth...and as we pack the last few items and prepare to leave this chapter of our lives, the emotions are rising. I am not unfamiliar with goodbyes, but this is not just goodbye. This is leaving what has become a part of mine and my family's identity in the past seven and a half years. I hope and pray that this place and the people here will remain a part of my life. 

There are many unknowns in the weeks and months ahead. I am trying to remain focused on the One who does not change and submit any anxiety about the unknown to Him. The One whose presence and love is unconditional and does not vary dependent upon where I go, where I leave or which job I take. 

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. 

Romans 15:13

leaving the island

Snow egret on Assateague

This morning, with a loaded car, I filled my lungs with the salty sea air one more time before heading west. I drove across the causeway with the island in my rearview mirror, admiring a flock of snow egrets stealthily inhabiting the salty marsh and a blue heron hiding among the reeds. I’ve never been much of a bird watcher, but two months on Chincoteague will introduce you to a plethora of waterfowl and other birds whether you care to know about them or not. Although two months does go by quickly, I feel as though I have been on the Eastern Shore for much longer than that because of the connection I shared with some of the people I was honored to befriend during my stay. It is amazing what a difference relationships make in how you experience a place. 

In so many ways, my two months on the Eastern Shore were yet another display of God answering prayer above and beyond anything I could have planned for myself. And why, then, is my tendency still to take control and do my own thing? Clearly, He knows better. I was nervous about working in a nursing home, as I would be coming in with so little experience working with adults. By the grace of God, I was given this opportunity and now feel more confident and experienced in working with the adult and geriatric population. During my two months, I had the joy of mentoring a high school student intern as she observed me for a few hours each day and is planning to pursue a career in speech therapy. I was fearful that this job might be more stressful since it would be new for me, but with a lighter caseload and helpful co-workers, it was quite the opposite. I am coming away from the job refreshed by the experience, the relationships and the scenery. The weeks ahead hold a lot of traveling and many questions — this seems to be a recurring state for me — but after spending two months with people nearing the end of their lives, I am mindful of the brevity of our time on this earth and the joy and significance of living for a purpose beyond ourselves. The questions and concerns I face seem much smaller in light of the bigger picture that God has in mind to orchestrate.

Memorial Park with the Assateague lighthouse in the distance

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3:12-14

Fog lifting from Assateague

 ^"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone." -James 4:14 (NLT)