Finding joy in the pain

Last week as I held Lydia in my arms, tears came to my eyes because a hard reality had struck: many of the children in Haven will not survive. With so many factors working against them, it is amazing that several of them have made it this far. Each of us knew that the longer we stayed here at Namwianga, the greater our chances of being present when a death occurs. But just knowing the facts can never prepare you enough for harsh reality. On Tuesday morning we learned that sweet baby Judah had passed away in his sleep. The cause is unknown, “sometimes this just happens,” we were told. Judah, was not supposed to be the one to go first, he was gaining weight, he was doing well. There are others whose health has been declining that we would have expected not to survive another week, but not baby Judah. It was hard to hear. It was hard to walk into the pink room and see his empty little bed...but it is good to know that he is free from the harsh world he was born into. Meagan comforted us, by saying that he received more love in the last 4 weeks from our group than he had received in his short life. We ate our lunch in silence that day, sickened by the pain that comes with an inexplicable loss. Although it was hard to accept, we needed to see the reality that the workers here face daily in order to truly appreciate the presence of this place. I cannot begin to imagine the pain they have felt with each loss. Judah means “praise” or “let God be praised” -- what more can we do, but just that. I rejoice knowing that each fatherless child gets to meet his Father, each child plagued by illness gets to find a life free of suffering, and each hungry child will never know hunger again. Judah was buried under a tree on a small plot of land that was recently cleared to be a cemetery for children whose families cannot take them; he is the first to buried there. Sweet Judah will be missed, but there are so many others that still need our love these last few days.

The children that do thrive and do well at the Haven are returned to their families if there is family and if they are wanted. Today we had the opportunity to visit a 3 year old girl, Lola, that has been back in the village with her aunt for the last two months. Meagan told us that Lola used to be one of the more talkative of the toddlers. She and Kathy, a 4-year old that lives at the toddler house, were great friends and ruled the house. Now, however, Lola does not talk whenever people from the Haven come to visit her. Perhaps she is just too confused by the changes she has been through. Her aunt reports that she does talk some at home, but Meagan has not heard a word out of her since she has been back in the village. She is healthy and doing very well otherwise. It was good to see her and the small hut that they live in. During our visit we were swarmed by all the neighborhood children who were delighted by the bubble gum that Meagan brought and by all the cameras that we had out and snapping.

Our visit to Lola was our second time into a village this week. On Sunday, Leonard, our beloved cook, invited us to join his family for lunch after we attended the small congregation out in the bush where he goes. The Kasibi Church of Christ has a small single room building for gathering with a larger thatch-roof pavilion with brick benches next to it for outdoor gatherings. We met under the pavilion. At the end of the service we were asked to sing some songs, which we did of course, but my favorite part was when everyone lined up afterwards, while singing, to shake hands. As we left the pavilion we walked down the line shaking each hand, there were about 100 there that morning. Leonard invited everyone to his nearby home where we ate a traditional meal and enjoyed some live music and dancing. Mostly the children danced in the middle while the rest of us stood around in circle tapping our feet and swaying. Occasionally some men or women would jump in and dance a little. The most impressive, however, was when a circle of women dancing in a line formed and one of the women was breast feeding her child, while she was dancing!

Our time here is quickly coming to an end. Tomorrow all of the hearing screenings will be completed. Friday we will all go to the Haven to spend our last day with the children. It will be a tearful goodbye I am certain. One of our group, Meredith, has already returned to the States to be in a wedding. Our group is not quite the same without all twelve.

Today we met with several of the aunties that care for the babies in Eleanor’s House to discuss feeding concerns and issues and share some information that they might find helpful. We felt like it was a productive meeting and hope that they will implement changes that will improve the quality of care for the babies.

On the same day that we received the devastating news about Judah, we also received encouraging news about Lydia. Her health has stabilized to the point that she will be able to come home from the hospital tomorrow! Apparently she had a strand of salmonella that she likely received from her mother in utero, which prevented her from digesting correctly. We are thrilled that we will see her again before we leave. Thank you for your prayers concerning her health. Please continue to pray for her. Pray for all those grieving the loss of sweet Judah. Pray for our group as we leave this precious place.

Photos: Meagan holding Lola and passing out sweets in the village, dancing after church (note the drum set), our group with Leonard and his family