learning to expect the unexpected

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around everything that has happened in my life the last four months... really in the last year... or maybe I'm just trying to comprehend my life in general as so many wonderful unexpected adventures keep manifesting. On October 25th, Kyle Thompson asked me to marry him. I said, "yes" and our plans and the wedding have pretty much consumed my thinking since. The adventure of living in Italy and growing in this relationship as doors opened and as Kyle pursued me has been fun and challenging. Kyle has surprised me with unexpected adventures, like our hike in the mountains at Abetone and our scooter ride through Chianti, and we have both enjoyed unexpected encounters (like making connections that have opened up new possibilities and opportunities). 

Life is full of the unexpected, I don't know why I keep trying to figure it out. This time last year I did not imagine that I would be engaged and about to marry a man who is not what I expected for my lifelong partner, but he is just exactly what I need and desire in my life! We are so excited to begin journeying together and making the most of each unexpected adventure as it comes.

Before leaving Italy, Kyle surprised me with yet another, unanticipated adventure – a steam engine train ride to a small medieval town where there was a quaint Christmas market being held (isn't he wonderful and the perfect man for me!). The day started with an early morning drive through a beautiful part of Tuscany to Siena. Our traveling group arrived at the station to find a lovely vintage train pulled by a tremendous steam engine. There was excitement all over the platform as passengers snapped photos and hurried to find their seats. For a moment I felt like I was in one of the opening scenes of the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe where the children are in the train station trying to stay together amidst the crowds as they board their train to evacuate London. All of our party was aboard, except for Kyle who had to drive a distance to park the van. If he hadn't run, he may not have made it, but slightly out of breath and ready to try a new experience, he boarded our car just in time. Most of us had never been on a steam engine train before, and non of us in Italy, so we were giddy with excitement. Just behind our group there was a nice looking young man dressed to match the era and style of the train. The thought of going to a Christmas market and being on a train much like that depicted in the Polar Express easily settled us all into a joyful holiday spirit. Breathtaking scenes of the Tuscan countryside painted with fall colors whizzed passed our window as we caught glimpses of antiquated hamlets and villas nestled on hillsides. The destination was a tiny town not unlike those that we passed. We hiked up the road leading to the town's piazza to find a simple, but festive market. Men with accordions and instruments I'd never seen before meandered through the crowds sharing their hearty tunes. The smell of chestnuts roasting over the fire filled the air. We explored all the tiny town had to offer with their beautiful doors and windows and narrow streets. Shops and restaurants were open with signs and smells to bring you in. A hidden staircase took us down to an old olive oil press where I learned about how olive oil is harvested. We sampled chestnut polenta and locally produced fresh ricotta cheese. After several hours of soaking in the festivities, we made our way back down the hill to meet the remainder of our group. Our train home was full of content explorers, ready for a rest after the day's adventures. 

I am so excited to discover the new experiences and adventures that God has in store for Kyle and I as our lives merge and we sojourn together. Some of the unexpected curves we encounter may be unwelcome, but we are eager and ready to follow God's leading and serve Him whatever mundane and fantastic places that takes us!

After all, He’s famous for great and unexpected acts;
    there’s no end to His surprises.

Job 5:9

the dream called life

[This post was started on 20.10.2012 in Scandicci, Italy.]

I was hanging out my laundry when the thought first hit me. It was the start of a warm fall day. The mid morning sun was peeking over rooftops just enough to give a welcoming warm glow to the trees above me and a few blossoms in the window boxes. As I carefully spread my damp laundry out on the line, a feeling came to me - that surreal feeling of "Is this real life or am I in a dream?" (Hanging out the laundry below window boxes in Italy is the sort of thing you see in movies, not do in real life) - Yet in the midst of my ponder, I smiled. "This is a dream and I'm living it!" God loves to give good gifts to His children. We see this truth in all the beautiful and good things God put in the Garden of Eden (Gen 2:9) and all throughout the stories of the Bible and of course in the best gift of all, His Son. He doesn't just give mediocre gifts, He gives good gifts (Matt. 7:11, James 1:17).  

...give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for men, for He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.                 ~Psalm 107:9

Why then, when He gives so abundantly do we question??? My dream has taken me to places, experiences and relationships with people I may never have expected, but the joy of living out this dream called life, is ABUNDANT. 

For those who don't know, for some time now, I have been in a long distance relationship with Kyle Thompson. In following my heart and going through Providentially opened doors, I find myself serving as a teacher of English and Bible in Florence, Italy while also being as involved as possible with Kyle's work with the Harding University study abroad program in Florence. This is where I often stop in awe and marvel at the path God has placed me on. As if working as a traveling speech therapist wasn't enough!?! 

I am daily blessed by learning to love and be loved by a man whose heart seeks to be used by the Spirit. I am challenged weekly by conversations with individuals who come for an hour a week to sit and talk about the stories and teachings of the Bible, many for the first time. I have the joy of getting to learn a new language and culture! I get to be in a place and with people where explorations and adventures abound. The conveniences that we covet in American life seem so unimportant and I am refreshed by appreciation for the simple joys of enjoying a breath of fresh air while taking time to hang the laundry out to dry. 

Please don't get me wrong, my life is no where near perfect, and there have been and will continue to be many challenges in this journey. But what if it were all just a matter of perspective? What if we approached each day with expectation for the ways that God fulfills His promises and pours out His love in our lives? What if we lived each day as if we were living out the dream we've always wanted, not in dread of what might happen, but with joyful contentment for what He is doing.

redirected

Trying to get my mind off traveling and back into work mode, I was in my brand new car, taking care of a few errands before heading out on the next job adventure. It was the first time I had driven the car by myself. Being a standard transmission, it took a little getting used to, and I was realizing that my driving style would have to change a bit with the added shifting. At a stop light, I looked around the interior of the CR-V. It was HUGE compared to my previous car. “What do I need all this space for?” I thought to myself. It suddenly felt...foreign, big, unfamiliar. I had just returned from spending 3 weeks in Italy growing in a relationship with a wonderful man, but the newness of being in a relationship was still setting in. The reality of my parents no longer living abroad was also just becoming evident to me. “And now, I can’t even process all of this change in the comfort of my familiar little Acura! I don’t have a place, a room, a familiar refuge to go to!” The thought hit me like a wave catching you off guard. And there, between shifting gears, I began wiping away tears. I just needed a moment to process it all, but after allowing myself a few minutes to cry and pray, I was fine.

One might think that I am not unaccustomed to change. There is truth in that, if we’re just talking about locations and jobs. But despite the ever-changing foreground of my life, there has remained a somewhat stable backdrop. That backdrop consists of the things that have remained the same for many years, some of which are a big part of the identity which I have established, and some of that is changing. With this change, all that I might have placed my stability and identity on is stripped away, and all that remains is my true raw identity which belongs to God. It is a sometimes painful renewing process. How easy it is to build up for ourselves an image whether good or bad that is based on things, events and relationships other than the most important and significant event and relationship — our commitment to Christ. 

I am thankful for each of the changes taking place in my life. My relationship with Kyle has been and continues to be a blessing and I am learning and growing in ways I never knew possible. I am excited to see where God will lead us on this journey. My parents being back in the States holds many blessings that I can foresee and am already experiencing. And my new car, I love it! I have had the blessing of using it to help people move large objects, and it has been so nice with all of the moving around that I do.

Ironically, in the midst of these “bigger changes” I have faced more job and location changes than usual. I left Dallas expecting to start a job in Michigan, but arrived in York, PA a week later. After three weeks, I am now moving to a different job in Philly for the next three and half weeks — “Whew, okay God, I’m trying to keep up!” HE has blessed me immensely through this time. I am overwhelmed by the ways that He is faithful. There is unimaginable peace and joy in being a child of God. Though this journey is taking me all over the map in a very literal sense, there is really only one direction that I can go, and that is towards God.

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage." ~Psalm 84:5

the move

Bags are packed. 

Walls are empty.
Hearts are heavy.
The shipment has been sent. 

Tears are starting to well up. 

For the last seven and a half years, my parents have been living and working in Beijing and on Monday, this chapter in our family's history will come to a close. It has not been until recently that I have realized how much my parents being here has impacted me. I am proud to tell people that my parents live in Beijing and I love coming to see them and being a part of their ministry here. I love learning new Chinese words and phrases each time I come. I love getting to know and encourage their fellow workers and people that have become like family in the absence of our own here. I love getting to witness the work that our Father is doing through my parents and through the believers here and in some small way getting to participate. Although I have never lived here, it feels like home...one of my many "homes" on this earth...and as we pack the last few items and prepare to leave this chapter of our lives, the emotions are rising. I am not unfamiliar with goodbyes, but this is not just goodbye. This is leaving what has become a part of mine and my family's identity in the past seven and a half years. I hope and pray that this place and the people here will remain a part of my life. 

There are many unknowns in the weeks and months ahead. I am trying to remain focused on the One who does not change and submit any anxiety about the unknown to Him. The One whose presence and love is unconditional and does not vary dependent upon where I go, where I leave or which job I take. 

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. 

Romans 15:13

leaving the island

Snow egret on Assateague

This morning, with a loaded car, I filled my lungs with the salty sea air one more time before heading west. I drove across the causeway with the island in my rearview mirror, admiring a flock of snow egrets stealthily inhabiting the salty marsh and a blue heron hiding among the reeds. I’ve never been much of a bird watcher, but two months on Chincoteague will introduce you to a plethora of waterfowl and other birds whether you care to know about them or not. Although two months does go by quickly, I feel as though I have been on the Eastern Shore for much longer than that because of the connection I shared with some of the people I was honored to befriend during my stay. It is amazing what a difference relationships make in how you experience a place. 

In so many ways, my two months on the Eastern Shore were yet another display of God answering prayer above and beyond anything I could have planned for myself. And why, then, is my tendency still to take control and do my own thing? Clearly, He knows better. I was nervous about working in a nursing home, as I would be coming in with so little experience working with adults. By the grace of God, I was given this opportunity and now feel more confident and experienced in working with the adult and geriatric population. During my two months, I had the joy of mentoring a high school student intern as she observed me for a few hours each day and is planning to pursue a career in speech therapy. I was fearful that this job might be more stressful since it would be new for me, but with a lighter caseload and helpful co-workers, it was quite the opposite. I am coming away from the job refreshed by the experience, the relationships and the scenery. The weeks ahead hold a lot of traveling and many questions — this seems to be a recurring state for me — but after spending two months with people nearing the end of their lives, I am mindful of the brevity of our time on this earth and the joy and significance of living for a purpose beyond ourselves. The questions and concerns I face seem much smaller in light of the bigger picture that God has in mind to orchestrate.

Memorial Park with the Assateague lighthouse in the distance

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3:12-14

Fog lifting from Assateague

 ^"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone." -James 4:14 (NLT)

where you least expect it

I have recently been listening to the audiobook of A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller. As he analyzes the idea of story and what makes a good story and what kinds of stories we are living out in real life he said something along the lines of, “people who are really living interesting lives don’t have time to write about it.” I’d like to attribute my silence to that, I haven’t had time to write because I’ve been too busy living. That may not be entirely true, but I like to think of it in those terms. 

I live on an island. 

When I first heard about the Eastern Shore, I had no idea this place existed. There is an isolated strip of land that runs down from Maryland about 70 miles, connecting with Virginia Beach only by tunnel-bridge. The shore is dotted with small communities, each with a unique character, most barely large enough to host a gas station. There is no interstate. There is only one Walmart on the entire Eastern Shore.   There is no Starbucks. When I left Front Royal, I was adamant about returning to an urban setting, and this is where I have found myself, a community of less than 5,000...God has a great sense of humor. Along the coast are several outlying islands, most of which are not populated at all. There is one island just before you get to Maryland, situated off the coast of the Eastern Shore and home to a small community of watermen, tourists, contractors and retirees.  This is Chincoteague Island — this is the place I have chosen to call home for my two month stay on the Eastern Shore. Work is down the shore, a bit of a commute, but I am pleased with my decision to live on the island. My townhouse is on the outer side of Chincoteague Island, facing the Atlantic which is just beyond the Assateague lighthouse. The first day I was giddy as I drove across the bridge, seagulls flying overhead. As I neared my new home, there was a pungent saltiness in the air — I filled my lungs with the aroma delighted that the salty ocean was so close I could smell it! Within a week or two I realized that the salty smell is from the shellfish farm down the road and is especially pungent on days they are processing or exporting oysters...not as romantic as smelling the ocean, but I don’t mind. There are more varieties of bird here than I know how to appreciate. Some mornings I have to stop for ducks to cross the road...everything moves slowly on the island. This time of year, many of the local shops are closed. I’m told this is a busy place in the summer when tourists overwhelm the town. Just a short 5 miles away is the beach. I have enjoyed visiting the beach this time of year. Last weekend, I couldn’t help but stick my toes in the sand even though it was much too cold to be going barefoot. 

There is something amazing about arriving at the ocean. Your journey, whether short or long, must come to a halt as you recognize the powerful stretch of waves ahead of you. I have reached that point on many different shorelines and I am always overwhelmed by the power displayed. How can I but stand in awe of the One more Powerful than this, the Creator that set the waves in motion. And that same Creator is living and active in my insignificant little life. How can this be? I have said it again and again, but I am continually amazed by the way God makes His presence known in the lives of His children. Each place I have traveled to, I have wondered where I am going to find community. Not just people to hang out with, but a support, a local family, a community of like-minded believers to spur me on and for me to encourage in the faith. And in each place, God has provided in ways I never could have imagined. The Eastern Shore seemed like a pretty unlikely place to find world-traveling, missional-minded fellow believers, but they are here. There may not be many of them, but by God's perfect plan, I have connected with a small group of them and other God-fearing believers, and they have become my community. When I first walked into the home where a weekly Bible study is held, I immediately knew I was among family. I was amazed by how God orchestrated my introduction to this treasured group my first week here through a co-worker who has become an immediate friend. I had no idea, but He did. I don’t know what lies ahead, but He does.

He is faithful. 

He provides. 

As I face questions ahead I am reminded of the prayer of Jehoshaphat as he faced a formidable army. He called the people of Judah together to fast and pray before the Lord and He concluded the prayer confessing: 

"We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you."  

This is my prayer. I am helpless without Him. 

(2 Chronicles 20:12)

a Chincoteague Sunset over the bridge

Assateague Beach

full-time traveler

Dear reader: If your time is limited, skip the post and read the quote at the end...that’s all I really wanted to share, the rest is just my ramblings...

The new year came in what felt like a whirlwind of events and emotions. I made some last minute resolutions in order to keep up with social demands and for conversation sake, but without putting much thought and intention into them. A modest New Year’s Eve celebration was shared with my closest friend, Anna, her precious baby boy, and another friend. Just before midnight, she went to her husband’s concert to kiss her beloved at the strike of 12. I stayed with Charlie and had the great honor of placing a kiss on his sweet cheek to welcome in his very first new year. It was low-key, but memorable.

The first day of 2012, I was on the road again, continuing my journey to Texas. Less than 48 hours after my arrival, I was sedated for the removal of 4 wisdom teeth. The hours and days immediately following are a blur of indistinct memories. As I regained endurance and consciousness I remember feeling like I had missed the coming of the new year. That sense of a “fresh start” which frequently accompanies the first week in January was absent. My rushed resolutions seemed careless and generalized. A need for a fresh start to my new year was recognized...but fresh starts are hard to come by when I’m in transition. Allow me a moment to tell you what being in transition is like for me. In previous blog posts I have referenced both appreciation and moderation of having a routine. When I am in transition (specifically referring to the weeks or months in between my jobs and my trips, during which I have no consistent schedule or agenda), I don’t have a routine and I get a little lost and lazy. To put it plainly, without a schedule or deadlines I am not very good and managing my time and I have little motivation to do so. With this being the case at the start of 2012, I could not seem to get my mind clear enough to enter the new year with that fresh sense of renewal and preparedness...so I decided to put off new years until February 1st. (It’s okay, you can laugh). This has released me of the pressure I was putting on myself to be ready for the new year.  With that pressure removed, I was able to enjoy my still whirlwind first weeks of January and face other unanticipated decisions and events that were thrown at me. Now, the last week in January, I am a little tired from what was supposed to be my “time of rest” and I am eager to start my next job and eager to establish a routine, if only for 8 weeks. I am returning to Virginia, this time to the Eastern Shore, for a 2 month contract job starting this week. I feel much more prepared and excited for my “new year”, and I have had some time to put thought into establishing a few more meaningful personal resolutions. 

As I am daily reminded of the homelessness I feel on this earth, the passage in Hebrews 11:13-16 comes to mind. The great “heroes of faith” were described as “admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth” and “longing for a better country—a heavenly one.” It is hard being a full-time traveler. It is a challenge to stay focused, motivated and on task with the ever-changing and sometimes non-existent routine. Whether you are in one place or travel about, we are all travelers on a journey through life on earth. As followers of Christ, we are not called to an easy, comfortably-routined life, we are called to be travelers, foreigners, living in the world, but keeping ourselves from the world. At the Medical Missions Seminar in Ft. Worth last weekend, John Carr shared an excerpt from the 2nd century Letter to Diognetus regarding Christians. This is a long quote, but it is worth taking the time to read and consider the implications. Are we carrying on this identity that the early Christians portrayed? Do we live like foreigners on earth? 

Christians are not distinguished from other men by country, language, nor by the customs which they observe. They do not inhabit cities of their own, use a particular way of speaking, nor lead a life marked out by any curiosity. The course of conduct they follow has not been devised by the speculation and deliberation of inquisitive men. The do not, like some, proclaim themselves the advocates of merely human doctrines. Instead, they inhabit both Greek and barbarian cities, however things have fallen to each of them. And it is while following the customs of the natives in clothing, food, and the rest of ordinary life that they display to us their wonderful and admittedly striking way of life. They live in their own countries, but they do so as those who are just passing through. As citizens they participate in everything with others, yet they endure everything as if they were foreigners. Every foreign land is like their homeland to them, and every land of their birth is like a land of strangers. They marry, like everyone else, and they have children, but they do not destroy their offspring. They share a common table, but not a common bed. They exist in the flesh, but they do not live by the flesh. They pass their days on earth, but they are citizens of heaven. They obey the prescribed laws, all the while surpassing the laws by their lives. They love all men and are persecuted by all. They are unknown and condemned. They are put to death and restored to life. They are poor, yet make many rich. They lack everything, yet they overflow in everything. They are dishonored, and yet in their very dishonor they are glorified; they are spoken ill of and yet are justified; they are reviled but bless; they are insulted and repay the insult with honor; they do good, yet are punished as evildoers; when punished, they rejoice as if raised from the dead. They are assailed by the Jews as barbarians; they are persecuted by the Greeks; yet those who hate them are unable to give any reason for their hatred.

      To sum it all up in one word, what the soul is in the body, that is what Christians are in the world. The soul is dispersed through all the parts of the body, and Christians are scattered through all the cities of the world. The soul lives in the body, yet is not of the body; Christians live in the world, yet are not of the world.

Letter to Diognetus, adapted translation by Paul F. Pavao, Christian History for Everyman. Italics mine.