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Trying to get my mind off traveling and back into work mode, I was in my brand new car, taking care of a few errands before heading out on the next job adventure. It was the first time I had driven the car by myself. Being a standard transmission, it took a little getting used to, and I was realizing that my driving style would have to change a bit with the added shifting. At a stop light, I looked around the interior of the CR-V. It was HUGE compared to my previous car. “What do I need all this space for?” I thought to myself. It suddenly felt...foreign, big, unfamiliar. I had just returned from spending 3 weeks in Italy growing in a relationship with a wonderful man, but the newness of being in a relationship was still setting in. The reality of my parents no longer living abroad was also just becoming evident to me. “And now, I can’t even process all of this change in the comfort of my familiar little Acura! I don’t have a place, a room, a familiar refuge to go to!” The thought hit me like a wave catching you off guard. And there, between shifting gears, I began wiping away tears. I just needed a moment to process it all, but after allowing myself a few minutes to cry and pray, I was fine.

One might think that I am not unaccustomed to change. There is truth in that, if we’re just talking about locations and jobs. But despite the ever-changing foreground of my life, there has remained a somewhat stable backdrop. That backdrop consists of the things that have remained the same for many years, some of which are a big part of the identity which I have established, and some of that is changing. With this change, all that I might have placed my stability and identity on is stripped away, and all that remains is my true raw identity which belongs to God. It is a sometimes painful renewing process. How easy it is to build up for ourselves an image whether good or bad that is based on things, events and relationships other than the most important and significant event and relationship — our commitment to Christ. 

I am thankful for each of the changes taking place in my life. My relationship with Kyle has been and continues to be a blessing and I am learning and growing in ways I never knew possible. I am excited to see where God will lead us on this journey. My parents being back in the States holds many blessings that I can foresee and am already experiencing. And my new car, I love it! I have had the blessing of using it to help people move large objects, and it has been so nice with all of the moving around that I do.

Ironically, in the midst of these “bigger changes” I have faced more job and location changes than usual. I left Dallas expecting to start a job in Michigan, but arrived in York, PA a week later. After three weeks, I am now moving to a different job in Philly for the next three and half weeks — “Whew, okay God, I’m trying to keep up!” HE has blessed me immensely through this time. I am overwhelmed by the ways that He is faithful. There is unimaginable peace and joy in being a child of God. Though this journey is taking me all over the map in a very literal sense, there is really only one direction that I can go, and that is towards God.

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage." ~Psalm 84:5